Daniel Ferrante

I got back from holiday yesterday afternoon, and there’s a few things I want to post about. However, as today is a French Holiday, and I can’t find anywhere to upload my pictures, I’ll have to wait.

I will share this, though. On the way from Nice to Paris, Sunshine and I had a table / booth area of the train to ourselves. The first few stops no one sat in the adjoining seats which faced us, so we piled our luggage into the empty space.

Across the aisle, four young Chinese girls, all them in University, were taking pictures. We talked with them, complimented their English and made fast friends. They had taken an over night train from Florence, Italy to Nice and were now headed to Paris as well. For having been on the train all night; they looked refreshed, were pleasant to talk to and well mannered.

Our last stop before Paris was Marseille. At this stop, two large French men entered our car. Sunshine and I looked at each other and we knew straight away that they had tickets for “our” empty seats.

They sat down across from us and immediately I could smell them. It was if they had done yard work all day, ran a marathon, rolled around in grass trimmings, then smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank two cups of coffee each. They were both sweaty, and their clothes were stained yellow. One had an enormous mole the size of a quarter on his head, and both were missing several teeth. Best part, each had their oily hair combed over their generous bald spots. They spent the entire train ride picking their nose and eating the fine gourmet feast they harvested there-in and speaking in a loud, phlegmy voice.

They were husband material fur sure!

I could only imagine their conversation:

Smelly Man 1: Look at me, I haven’t showered in at least a week. What a wonderful smell I must be making.
Smelly Man 2: Yes, but what I lack in odor, I make up for with this massive mole! Who can’t help but love me?
SM1: Oh, you are ugly, but you simply can’t out do my wonderful odor. I am disrepectful to people’s noses! Can you see that I am serious?